The end, break

I’m taking a break until I can finalize what I am capable of doing. Not necessarily about capability but strength.

 

When you lose someone you love and have been loving for the last three years of your life and you’ve grown with them, experienced shit you’ve never did with anyone else, you never come back the same. You never come back whole. And you definitely don’t have enough energy or drive to do anything.

Truthfully, I started this blog because of my ex boyfriend, the one you’ve seen here and on my social media. He gave me the strength to start something I’ve always wanted to do and with his help, I was able to continue with this; The ability to showcase my life and fashion but now that we are no longer together… I don’t have the motivation to keep blogging and going. It may take me some time to recover, be okay and move on but right now isn’t the time.

We parted our ways… Unfortunately. I wished that things could’ve ended up differently but there’s not much you can do when it’s not in your control. No matter how much you want to save it, there’s no chance to defeat what’s already preplanned for you. I understand that it may not have been out of choice but I will always love him. I still love him. And not many people ever get the chance to experience real love like what we had. So true and rich that time never felt like it was enough, only wishing to have had more to do and be together. We had an incredible ride together and nothing will change my view on him. I miss him dearly, every day actually but I have to learn to accept it.

I still cry and can’t sleep. It’s a break up. Don’t expect me to feel any other way. My family has been so supportive and loving towards this rough time for me. Everyone in my family loved chris and to see this happen crushed us, me and I feel rather lost now. Heart broken…

I wish nothing but happiness upon him and the best of wishes for his future. Hoping that when he gets married, his wife and kids are as beautiful as he is. Although I may not be in his future and won’t be what I thought we’d be, I want him to be loved the same way he loved me. I only want what’s great and amazing for his life. It breaks me knowing that we won’t have a future together but I am very thankful for everything he has given me. I finally felt happy enough to settle down with him, I could see us growing old together and bickering about stupid shit because we could…

When I get the chance and courage, I’ll speak more about this…

My perfect and only one. My best friend. My person. My comfort. My home. My everything.


 

I’m taking a leave.

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